Chemo V: Perspective

I showed up at the clinic yesterday ready to complain about the ulcers that lace the entire perimeter of my tongue, causing me to drool excessively and forcing me to speak through clenched teeth. Dr Urba was sympathetic. And went on to tell me how severe this condition can become in patients with more deadly diseases. In those who are preparing for a bone marrow transfusion, for example, the chemicals can cause sores not only in the entire mouth but all the way through the digestive system; sores that prevent them from being able to swallow so they are hospitalized for feeding/hydration through a drip; sores that are so painful that they are treated with morphine.

In the infusion room we sat opposite a really nice couple. The husband was in for treatment, but it was his wife who interested me. She had no hands. I'm guessing this was a birth defect given that what she did have - the "heel" and thumb/little finger stubs - was the same on each side. But she was as dexterous as anyone with hands, managing cell phone, iPod Touch, sandwiches (distribution and consumption), NYT crossword and so on with ease.

Later on a petite Asian woman arrived for her infusions. She greeted everyone energetically before settling into her chair. Nurse Mary told me that this lady is amazing, resilient, upbeat, a pistol and sharp as a tack. I asked about her situation. "Oh, she's terminal."

Needless to say, yesterday was a humbling experience for me, even with my mouth sores and the news that I'm now fully anemic (yes, there may be a transfusion in my future.) These, after all, are just temporary discomforts. My turban goes off to those brave souls who flourish in spite of debilitating and/or life-ending conditions.